Waggle Dance RanchDesigned for people who aren’t very good at sitting still.
Begin your stay
A young player in navy slides on his knees celebrating a goal by the corner flag at sunset, with the net and a cheering crowd behind

Outdoor play · The soccer field

Why soccer, you ask?

Go on, tell me

Because…

  1. Golf

    You stunk it up at all three nearby RTJ Trail golf courses.

  2. Pickleball

    You failed to get a ball over the net at pickleball.

  3. Cornhole

    You didn’t make a single shot at cornhole.

  4. Half court

    And you never even hit the rim on the half-court.

A golfer in a polo and golf shoes stands over the ball at the penalty spot while a keeper crouches on the line and friends heckle from behind the net

Congratulations.

You’ve been chosen to take the first penalty kick.

Everyone can kick a soccer ball, right…?

Squad policy

We don’t bench anybody.
That’s part of the problem.

The decider

Penalty kick shootout,
to settle the bet.

Your family will remember this longer than you’d like.

They couldn’t settle it on the golf course. They couldn’t settle it on the Trackman. They couldn’t settle it on the pickleball courts. They couldn’t settle it playing HORSE. So it comes down to penalty kicks.

Full-size goal, one keeper, and the rest of the group behind the net doing everything short of touching you.

The ranch soccer field, mown turf with a full-size goal at each end, bordered by a wildflower meadow under open sky

Shootout rules

  1. Five kicks a sideTwo teams, five kickers each, alternating. Everyone who played that weekend takes one before anybody takes two.
  2. Twelve yards, keeper on the lineThe keeper stays on the goal line until the ball is struck, and may move along it but not off it.
  3. One touch, one shotBall must go forward. No second touch, no rebound. If it comes back off the post, it is dead.
  4. Keepers rotateEach side names a keeper for the round. Whoever kicks last keeps next, so nobody hides.
  5. Sudden deathLevel after five, it goes one for one until a side misses and the other scores. No sitting out.
  6. The bet is finalWhatever was riding on the weekend is settled here, on the turf, in front of witnesses. No rematch until the next stay.

The field

A soccer field, for the group that still runs.

Full open turf with goals at both ends. It doubles as the landing zone for kickball, frisbee, dog laps, and anyone who wants to walk off dinner—and it is where the weekend’s bet finally gets settled.

  • SurfaceMown natural turf, goals at both ends.
  • The deciderPenalty kick shootout, five a side.
  • Also good forKickball and frisbee.

Ten players and two coaches

Bring the squad. Settle the bet.

Who are you bringing this year?

Plan your stay